Principles for Creating a Successful Blended Family

                  By Shauna Springer, Ph.D. and Regina Melchor-Beaupré, Psy.D.

These tips were provided in an invited presentation to the Chosen Families Adoption Group in Gainesville, Florida on Nov. 13, 2007.  Chosen Families is a free support group for families formed by adoption.  All are welcome, including people wanting to learn more about adoption.  We meet on the second Tuesday and last Saturday of every month in Gainesville.  For information about meetings, activities and resources for parents adopting children, visit Chosen Families Adoption Group, Gainesville. 

• Prepare yourself and then your children before making any big changes that will affect each person in the family (e.g. before proceeding to blend your family).

• Take an honest self-inventory and establish boldly honest communication with your spouse.               

• Commit to reasonable expectations for yourself, your spouse, and each child                       

                         

• Be clear and predictable about your expectations for each child. 

• Proactively create family unity first as a couple by creating your own new set of traditions.

• Get yourself in the mind frame of controlling what you can, and letting go of that which you cannot. 

   

• Make a decision to adhere to principles of fairness, and commit yourselves to transparency to each other as a couple in your parenting process. 

• Get to know your child(ren) and invest time getting to know your adoptive child or spouse’s children from a former marriage.

• Respect each other and other parental figures by providing a united front.

• Remain consistent in your parenting.

• Keep a good sense of humor and perspective.

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Dr. Shauna Springer is a Licensed Psychologist specializing in marital, women's and family issues. 

Dr. Melchor-Beaupré specializes in pediatric, child and adolescent therapy.